I heard on Sina doctor there is a hot discussion about this topic and I was wondering among all many questions about raising a child, why this question! So I decided to contribute For start, we all come with our unique hardware, “our amazing brain.” Actually researchers indicate that 40 to 50 percent of our intelligence is hereditary and also some of them did not find some forms of parenting such reading to child at early age, etc. would make any difference in child’s intelligence. Therefore, there are many controversies by researchers about role of parenting, environment etc. I think intelligence is quite relative. Even those with above level of intelligence have ability in certain task and not in others. Graduating from university is not only a sign of intelligence. There are many individuals who have a “street smart.” They grew poor with no education or any opportunity, but end up making it just by being raised on the street. There are many successful entrepreneurs, businessmen who not only succeeded in their field of interest, but who also received honorary degrees from respected universities without even finishing high school or going to college. Our amazing brain even those with autism (such as Asperger syndrome), Down syndrome, adhd etc. have their own unique brainpower and intelligence. Our brain tends to compensate for disable part and healthy part becomes even more powerful. So all of us harbor unique intelligence in our unique brain. I see our brain as a beautiful garden with many seeds under it great dirt that if they are nurtured in a right way will blossom and produce many sorts of beautiful flowers/delicious fruits. Now lets talk about this nurturance and more. I personally think parents should first try and allow the fetus to develop their healthy brain and according to his original genetic mapping. Of course if there is not any mal formation in chromosome and other genetic complications at the first place. Our emotion is cable of changing many of our body functions such as blood pressure, heart rate, hormonal activities etc. Another words it can damage our body function including causing hypertension, stomach ulcer, IBS, and many more. Factors such as mother’s physical and emotional health might affect the development of fetus healthy brain. For example in case of pre-natal depression, researchers found that newborn’s biochemical profile was similar to his or her depressed mother. These children after birth may have many difficulties i.e. more being admitted to neonatal care, growth delay, low rate birth weight, biochemical similar to depressed mother, cry more than usual, distressed, future problems in personality and temper, Delay in cognition and emotional development, etc. Children go through psychological development form age 0-15. Throughout this journey if parent’s relationship is harmonious and loving, they become very important factor to allow child to achieve all his innate ability including his intelligence potentials. I believer following factors may increase child’s innate intelligence and ability: happiness, self confidence, feel safe and loved by parents, parents harmony, parents car for child not family members, parents involvement in child’s learning, love, care, good sleep, enough sleep, regular exercise (exercise produce happy hormone), helping child with logical and critical thinking, teaching child with good and polite manner, father share most aspects of parenting specially spending time with his child, etc. We all have old–term memory (permanent memory) and short-term memory (temporarily memory). For learning to occur after studying, children need enough time rest, for information enter in permanent memory (old term memory). Another words child can remember what he studied earlier. When short-term memory bombarded with lots of information and not enough time to enter old-term memory, the information is lost. Then some parents blame the child for memory problem! By above I mean that child also needs to be let to be a child, meaning study but also have rest and fun. Even Freud said work and play. So imagine what happens to child who is demanded many hours of schooling and after all this he should satisfy his parents own underline desire to learn piano, etc. If you are so good, then why you parents learn it for yourself!? For once put your feet in your child shoes feel how he feels. As most of you know, one of popular food of Tianjin, my first hometown in China, is boazi and to be more specific is “gaobuli baozi.” In one of my lecture to parents regarding autism, adhd and parenting, I suddenly thought about bringing up a following question to the audience. The question was, would you rather have your child who become a happy, joyful, and confident but end up selling delicious boazi , or a child who end up graduating from Harvard but with major depression and no self confidence? Most audience chose the second! Focus first on child’s heart than his brainpower and the rest will shine naturally You all take care and wish you good luck in raising an emotionally healthy human being! Dr.Mike
